Huahua did this performance in music competion show "Singer" on Mar 23, 2018. Before his performance, the host introduced him and this song, "he likes this song so much that he sang it 5 years ago when he was on a talent show and his concert 3 years ago. But he changed the arrangement every time". Then Huahua explained the reason he chooses this song: "When I was a child, my parents were busy with their work. So I grew up lonely, which makes me unwilling to deal with people. Every kid is willing to be close to someone who feed him -- his parents. Without parents around, he thought if he couldn’t get care from the most trusted parents, not mention from others. All of these causes led to a situation that although I longed for love from others, but indeed I refused to open up to people around me. It’s painful. At first I wrote songs to relieve my feelings. I stayed in a room, playing the piano, singing on and on. It’s pleasant. But no one would hear me singing. I’ve experienced the feeling of self-struggle, and I want to express it in this song. The lyrics resonate with me, and it’s painful for me to change the arrangement, because it makes me recall those bad memories. I add some screaming in the song. The audience may feel uncomfortable about it, but screaming means I’m struggling. No one cared for me, so I need to save myself. But I’m lucky. I attain much care later. That helps me out of the struggle." He has three versions for this song. I've uploaded first version few days ago - https://youtu.be/hOWAm0fi-eI You can see how much he has improved in 5 years. All I can say is "wow"... Note that this video is blocked in four countries, including Brunei, Taiwan, Malaysia and USA because of copyright issue. Please subscribe to my channel for more Chinese songs with translated lyrics. :)